Ok, so I've not blogged in quite a while. Since the end of January actually. I've had so much going on that my blog was a very low priority. Along with the good I've had my share of bad. This past July 4th we lost our beautiful 5 year old nephew to a tragic car accident. His mother was driving and his older brother was in the car as well. My sister-in-law was thrown out the back window and my older nephew had mild injuries. My dear SIL has understandably suffered so much worse than just physically. Their family is devastated beyond the capacity for words to describe. My brother asked me to speak at the funeral. It didn't work out for me to speak, but I wrote something and I'd like to share it here.
There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to
accept, things we don’t want to know but we have to learn, and people we can’t
live without but have to let go.
Trenton Jaxon Carmack was born on January 27, 2006. A 7 pound
7 ounce bundle of cuteness who completed his family and brought so much
love into this world. A second son for Ricky and Mary, a little brother for
Ashton, and a joy for all the rest of us.
When we found out Monday that his joy would no longer be a
part of our lives, words wouldn’t come. Only tears. We cried for the loss of
such a sweet and loving boy. We cried for a life cut way too short. We cried
for a mother, father, and brother who will always carry the pain of this loss.
Whose hearts will never fully heal.
It’s hard not to question God during times like these. It’s
hard not to be angry, to not cry out that this isn’t fair. That it is
absolutely unacceptable. We want to know why God would take this precious boy
from all of us? How could He allow us to suffer so much? The only answer I have
is:
I don’t know. And until the day I see Trenton again in
heaven I may not know. But here’s what I do know:
God loves us. He loves each and every one of us. And even
though right now our hearts are shattered; He’s standing right beside us
holding the pieces. We have to trust Him and accept the peace that only He can
give. And while we may not understand why He would choose to bring Trenton to
His side, we can always be grateful that He gave us 5 ½ amazing years with an
incredible boy. Trenton Jaxon Carmack touched each of our lives and has left an
imprint that can NEVER be erased. He may have only been with us a short time,
but we are so blessed by every second we had. Most importantly,
if we believe in Jesus Christ and His finished work
on the cross, if we trust Him to take away our sins and give us eternal life,
we have hope that we will see Trenton again.
The bible says; Can anything separate us from Christ’s love?
Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are
persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with
death?....No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through
Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from
God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither our fears
for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can
separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below –
indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love
of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39.
Rick and Mary: There are still so many tears to be shed, so
many memories to be recalled, so many condolences to hear….All I know to say to
you is that in any way that we are able, we hope to walk beside you during this
heartbreaking time and maybe even help you carry your grief for just a little
while if we can. I pray every moment that God will wrap you in His peace and
give you comfort, now and for the rest of your lives. I know that no matter how
much time passes your hearts will always carry a wound that can’t be healed on
this earth. But God loves you and He wants to hold you. While your world is
crumbling around you never forget that God still stands and you never leave His
hands.
I’d like to close by sharing two poems. I didn’t write them,
but they express so much of what I am feeling and I’m sure that most of you are
feeling as well.
Master Weaver
My life is but a weaving between the Lord and me,
I may not choose the colors,
He knows what they should be,
For He can view the pattern upon the upper side,
While I can see it only on this, the underside.
Sometimes He weaves sorrow, which seems so strange to me,
But I will trust His judgement, and work on faithfully,
‘Tis He who fills the shuttle, and He knows what is best,
So I shall weave in earnest, leaving to Him the rest.
Not till the loom is silent and the shuttle ceases to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why –
The dark threads are as needed in the Weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.
The Broken Chain
We little knew that day that God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.
-Ron Tranmer
I share all this because I feel like the more places I put it the more Trenton will be remembered. He was only here a short time and I want to believe that his memory will live on through us and with those we share it with.
Thanks for taking the time to read all of this. It means so much to me. I will be back to regular blog posts this week. I hope to share my scrapbooking and so much more. While my blog is about crafting I am going to incorporate other things as well, including personal things.
God bless!
